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Merry Harassment
01-01-2006 - 5:55 p.m.
After a long holiday hiatus, I am back. I plan on spending the next couple of days alternating between sleeping and resting-- in short, doing absolutely nothing. What better way to ring in the new year than in a perpetual state of semi-consciousness?
The most interesting story from the last few weeks comes from my office's holiday party. A creepy middle-aged man told me that if he had known I wasn't married, he would've started trying to sleep with me from the moment he met me. I laughed awkwardly at that comment, so he threw in a, "because you've got a great ass" for added emphasis. First of all, if you're trying to sexually harass me at the company Christmas party, at least try to tell me something I don't know. Surprise me. My ass is arguably my best feature, and it doesn't require any special recognition. That I have a great ass is a given. Try another body part. Second, if you're over the age of 40, it's just fucking creepy and desparate to hit-on the young chicks at work. I should've kneed him in the balls.
