Praise God for Tangueray

3-26-2005 - 11:28 a.m.

Next Sunday, I am leaving for Miami, for a Capital Construction Conference sponsored by the government's Office of the Chief Architect. This may seem like a sweet deal to most people, but to me it's like a death sentence due to the whole airplane thing.

I am going to get super-drunk Sunday morning (worshipping Our Lady of Stoli Vanil).
Whenever I fly (and I invariably drink a lot when I fly) I chew mint gum in an effort to hide the booze breath.

I probably end up frightening my seatmate with my gin & spearmint scent, but it's better than the alternative coping mechanism I used to use (sobbing, rocking back and forth, squeezing pillows, etc.)

Now I just look like a bad alcoholic when I fly.

Before - After